Not My Imprint - the rest of the story
by scr1be
Summary: So, this is a continuation of my one-shot Not My Imprint which was a vague representation of how imprinting - or not - could impact your life and break your heart. This is what happens next to the wolf who doesn't imprint and the boy who wishes he had. I own nothing you recognize. It all belongs to SM
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story that stems from my one-shot "Not My Imprint"**

 **I have a fascination with the wolves telling their imprint what they mean to them as well as the pain Leah felt at fate's betrayal of her heart. I tend to think back to that a lot and it comes out on the page more often than I care to admit.**

 **When I wrote "Not My Imprint" I was just in one of those terribly depressing moods where nothing seems to go right and it came out in the form of two broken hearts.**

 **Now, in a slightly better mood, I find myself drawn to that scene again and again. I love the way it turned out but I can't help but feel that it isn't finished.**

 **This story is going to be about what happens next.**

* * *

 **If you think you know what's going to happen, save it. There might be someone who wants it to be a surprise.**

 **If you don't like where this is headed, go away.**

* * *

Paul didn't look back. He couldn't.

How could he ever face her again after what he'd just done? She was the love of his life. But she wasn't his imprint.

He shifted into the silver wolf just as he hit the tree line. His clothes flew in tattered shreds behind him as he started running.

He tried to ignore the other minds joining with his as he ran. He tried not to think at all. But the image of her tear-filled eyes and the sound of her heart breaking as he left her wouldn't go away.

 _I'm really sorry man. -J_

 _Go away. -P_

 _It's for the best Paul. You've seen what my imprinting did to Leah. -S_

 _But I haven't imprinted! -P_

 _That's the point. If she were meant for you it would have happened the first time you saw her after you phased. You're saving her worse pain in the long run. -S_

 _Maybe I won't ever imprint. Maybe I don't have an imprint. Did you ever think of that? It's supposed to be this extremely rare thing anyway. -P_

 _Do you really want to risk that? When the elders warned me of imprinting I ignored them. I thought I loved Leah enough that it wouldn't matter, and besides, what were the odds? The imprint is something that changes you completely. It didn't matter that I still loved Leah because she wasn't the one for me. We might have figured that out in fifty years when the love changed to irritation or loathing. Or we might have lived quite happily and grown old together. Except that I can't grow old. As much as I love Leah, she is not my soul mate. As good as what we had was, it was never what was meant to be. -S_

Sam let that sink in for a minute before continuing. Suddenly, Sam's dreams for a future with Leah, as he'd once dreamed them, zoomed across the pack mind. They were married and happy and there were children everywhere.

Then the image changed. Leah was old and the children had children of their own but Sam still looked like Sam. In his prime.

 _I will go on living just as I am but she will not. -S_

 _Emily will age too. What then? -P_

Sam's thoughts turned dark and brooding for a minute.

 _I will find a way to stop phasing and I will age with her. -S_

 _You could have done the same with Leah. -P_

 _It's possible. But the legends show that Taha Aki did not stop phasing until he met his imprint. He was needed by the tribe despite the strong sons his first two wives had born him. He kept phasing until he met her. And when she died, it killed him. We might be stubborn enough to carry on a relationship with someone who isn't our imprint. We might even be able to stop phasing and grow old with them. But when you do imprint it no longer matters how stubborn you are. You can't stand to be with anyone else. It hurts to even think about. -S_

 _But that could take years. It might take lifetimes to find her. I could live a happy life with her until then. -P_

 _That's a naïve way to look at our situation. But even then, if you manage to avoid imprinting until she dies you still have to deal with the life you made together. You'll have children who will look at you and wonder how you can cast aside the love you had for their mother. You will have a community that does not understand why you no longer grieve. They won't understand why you suddenly hang out with someone a quarter your age and drool over her like a teenage boy. Do I really need to list all the ways you could hurt her or yourself by ignoring the fact that she is simply not the one for you? -S_

 _I've loved her from the moment I met her. I just don't understand how she isn't the one. -P_

 _Only the ancestors know why one person is our imprint and not another. I begged for Leah to be the one for me. I tried to force the imprint bond to shift to her. It isn't in our control. -S_

 _Love should be a choice. -P_

 _It is meant to be a gift - knowing without a doubt who your soul mate truly is. -S_

 _Where do I return it? If she's not it, I don't ever want to imprint. I just broke her heart because of something that was forced on me! I destroyed her. -P_

 _She's strong. She'll recover. -S_

* * *

Sam was desperate for his advice to be true. He had hurt Leah, after all. He knew the pain of destroying someone you hold so dear.

But it was different for Paul, who had been the one to rebuild his love after life had tried to destroy her. He knew exactly what it cost her to lose him, to have him tell her they can't be together anymore.

He forced his mind back into the shape of a human and his body followed. He couldn't stand to listen to Jared's sympathy and Sam's advice any more. He just wanted to wallow in self-pity for a while and remember the good times they had shared.

* * *

He walked on and on without a thought to where he was headed. When he finally looked up he was on First Beach.

He stared at the spot in front of him, recognition putting a small smile on his face.

This is where it had all started for them.

* * *

Flashback eight years.

* * *

Paul kicked at the sand as he walked along the beach. How could they do this to him? Didn't they care that they were ruining his life?

Paul's mom and dad were getting a divorce. They told him that morning over breakfast. His dad had gotten mad when he asked them why they couldn't just be happy together. Paul didn't understand. I mean, sure they fought a lot, but didn't everybody?

He continued kicking at the ground in front of him until his toe struck a rock and the missile went flying.

"Ow!"

Paul's cheeks reddened and he hurried to his victim.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Are you okay?" "Watch what you're doing. You could have put my eye out!" "I'm really sorry."

Paul looked at the girl he had accosted. She was pretty. Long blonde hair hung in a braid off of one shoulder, storm-gray eyes glared at him. She was holding her cheek, red where the rock had hit her.

"I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention." "You shouldn't be kicking things in the first place." "I know. I was upset." "Well, now I'm upset. What are you going to do about it?" She looked at him expectantly and he stuttered over an answer. "Um...I...uh-" "What were you so mad about anyway?"

Paul shut down the apology clawing its way up his throat. He didn't want to talk about his parents. Especially not to some girl he happened across on the beach.

"It's none of your business." "I'm making it my business. You hit me with a rock!" "I said I'm sorry." "That doesn't make the pain go away. And neither does bottling everything up inside. Why don't you sit with me and we'll talk about it." It wasn't a question. She pulled him down to sit beside her in the sand. She leaned back against one of the big driftwood logs bleached white by sun and sea.

"My name's Hunter, by the way. What's yours?" "I'm Paul." "Well Paul, what are you doing kicking things at people this early in the morning on a beach in the middle of nowhere?" "What are you doing sitting on a beach this early in the morning in the middle of nowhere?" "My parents just moved to Forks. I don't like being cooped up and the beach is the best thing in the world. Even if there isn't any sun. Now you." "My parents are getting a divorce."

Why did he go and tell her that? Who was this girl? Why was he so comfortable with her?

"That sucks. Do they fight a lot or was it unexpected?" "They always fight but they always have. I don't know why they waited so long and I don't know why they can't go on waiting a while longer. Do they have any idea what my friends are going to say when they find out? This is a small reservation and everybody knows everything about everybody else. My friends are gonna treat me different." "Then they aren't your friends." "What?" "It's not your fault your parents can't get along. Trust me." "How do you know?" "When my mom and dad split I blamed myself. See, dad liked to think he was freer than he was. He cheated on my mom. Turns out he has a whole other family back home. He has the son he always wanted. I used to think that if I had just been born a boy he would have stayed with mom and they would have been happy."

She contemplated the sand for a moment before continuing.

"Then I found out that his son is a year older than me. He had been cheating on her a lot longer than either of us could have imagined. He hid it all so well. Said he had business trips and worked late at the office. Mom knew he had a condo in the city but she had no idea he was living a whole other life without us." "Do you see him still?" "No. I used to spend summers with him and his new family. But it drove me insane. They were always looking down on me and acted like I was the reason they had problems. It never occurred to them that my mom was his _actual_ wife and _she_ was the mistress." "Are they all like that?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment before turning to him and smiling, "No. I'm just lucky." "Lucky?" "I don't have to pretend to like his new family. And my mom got remarried last year. Phil is a good guy. He doesn't mind my mood swings and he hates my dad almost as much as mom does. Phil can't have kids of his own and he really treats me like family. Like he would have chosen me." "He did." "What?" "Well, he knew you were part of the package when he married your mom, right? So in a way, he did choose you." "I like that."

They sat in silence for a minute, watching the clouds block the sun and feeling the breeze over the waves.

"It will be okay Paul." "I hope so. I don't really care that mom's moving out. Not really." "Are you going with her?" "No. She's leaving La Push. Dad won't let her take me with her." "My mom would never have left without me. That sucks." "I don't think she ever really wanted to be stuck on the reservation. She stayed because she got pregnant with me. The council is really serious about parental and tribal rights. I'm Quileute so I stay." "That's harsh. Do you want to go with her?" "I don't want to leave my home." "I can understand that. I mean, this place is really beautiful. It's a pain to get to though." "How _did_ you get out here? Did your mom drive you?" "No, I walked." "From Forks?" "Yes. I like to walk." "Me too but my mom would never let me walk that far. I mean, I'm only twelve." "Me too! It's nice to meet someone my own age. Mom and Phil are great, but they don't get me." "Maybe you'd like to hang out with me and my friends sometime?" "Sure. I'd like to know someone before school starts." "Well, we all go to school on the reservation. You'll be going to Forks Middle School, right?" "Oh that's right. That really bites."

Paul searched his head for a way to make her smile again. He wanted to see this strange girl again. He had to.

"We could still hang out." "Yeah, sure. We have the whole summer and Forks really isn't that far from La Push." "We have bonfires and cookouts and things here at the beach sometimes. The elders all tell stories and it's a lot of fun. Sometimes the kids from Forks show up. Mostly the high school kids though. Your mom might not like you hanging out with them." "I wouldn't be hanging out with them. I'd be hanging out with you. Duh."

She smiled and pushed him over into the sand.

"Hey watch it!" "Serves you right. I'm probably going to have a black eye tomorrow." He looked at her face, the mark had already faded but her smile said she was joking.

"Don't be such a baby." "I am not a baby! You hit me with a rock!" "That was ages ago." "That was like ten minutes ago." "So get over it already." They were smiling as they went back and forth. Suddenly Paul's day was looking a lot better than it had when he started down the beach.

"There's Paul!"

At the sound of his name they both looked around. Coming down the beach was Paul's best friend Jared and some of the younger boys, Embry and Quil and Jacob. Paul groaned. He was definitely going to get teased for this.

"Hey Paul" "Who's the pale face?" Embry smiled at Hunter. Something in Paul really didn't like that. He didn't want to introduce his friends to the new girl.

"I've got to go." "What?" "Come on guys, let's go." "Hey, wait a minute!" "I want to meet the pale face." Quil offered his hand and when she reached up to shake it he kissed her knuckles like he'd seen in some movie. "I'm Quil, and you are?" "My name's Hunter. Could you stop drooling on my hand please?"

She pulled her hand away from a suddenly blushing Quil and turned to Paul. "Do you want to introduce me to the rest of them before they start drooling too?"

He couldn't help but smile at her. He introduced the rest of the guys and sat back down in his place of honor right beside the new girl.

* * *

Now

* * *

Paul smiled as he remembered the rest of that day. It had started out so awful. But she made him forget that his family was falling apart and that he was afraid of his friends' reactions to the divorce.

They had all stayed on the beach until lunchtime. Hunter had looked at her watch and started gathering her things in a frantic state. She had been grounded for a week after that.

She never thought to leave her mother a note about where she was going. Phil was on the phone with Charlie Swan, the police chief, when she'd stumbled in the door, still finding sand in unpleasant places with her hair plastered to her face with sweat from her run.

It had been a desperate couple of weeks waiting for her to make a reappearance at the beach. She had run off without getting or giving phone numbers. They had no idea how to find her except that she lived in Forks and they were all too young to drive.

Paul had gone to the beach every day. His friends gave up trying to persuade him to do anything else. They brought a ball and played catch on the beach or else surf boards if the day was warm enough. He was afraid to miss her and so he stayed.

When she showed up again Paul had already lost hope but he didn't know what else to do with himself so he went to the beach anyways. There she was, in the same spot she had been sitting in when he'd kicked a rock into her face.

She looked up at him and smiled like he was her favorite person on the planet.

* * *

Paul sat in the sand and cried as the memories overwhelmed him. So much of the last seven years had been spent with her. All of his favorite memories included her.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a story that stems from my one-shot "Not My Imprint"**

 **We left Paul crying on the beach remembering his life with Hunter, the girl he loves but didn't imprint on. This chapter will focus more on the present.**

* * *

Paul sat in the sand and cried as the memories overwhelmed him. So much of the last seven years had been spent with her. All of his favorite memories included her.

* * *

Eventually Paul stood up and dusted the sand off his backside. He was naked on the beach and he wondered if anyone had seen him to report his nudity. Not that he cared. It was hard to care about anything right now. He had cried himself out for the moment but the hole that was left was unbearable.

Sam would expect him to go on patrol tonight. Paul didn't know if he could stand hearing the pity in their thoughts. They had known this was going to be impossible for him. Hunter had been his world since they were twelve years old and he'd found her sitting on the beach.

She had claimed him forever right there and then. She hadn't known it and neither had he.

Now it didn't matter. They had struggled through life side by side and now, when all of their plans were coming together and they were moving forward finally, suddenly she wasn't the one for him? What did the fates know? Who gave the spirits the right to pick and choose for him?

Paul kicked a rock clear across the beach before turning and loping into the woods. He shimmered as he phased and then there was a silver wolf running through the trees instead of a man.

* * *

 _How are you holding up? -J_

 _Like you don't know. -P_

Jared had been Paul's best friend, was going to be his best man, since they were toddlers. He knew exactly what losing Hunter meant to him.

 _I ran by the house to check on her. She's going to be okay. -J_

 _Is that supposed to make me feel better? -P_

Even as he thought it Jared's own thoughts slipped through the pack mind and Paul whimpered at the memory.

 _Sorry, I didn't mean for you to see that. -J_

When he had gone by the house he found Hunter curled in a ball on the porch swing Paul had made for her last year. It was her favorite place in the world and they often sat there together, talking and laughing or reading or arguing. Now she sat there trying to hold herself together as the tears overwhelmed her.

 _I can't do this to her. -P_

 _You know Sam's right. That's why you did it in the first place. You know what would happen if you imprinted on somebody else and you two were still together. You think she's hurting now? Don't do that to her. She's my friend and I love her too. Do NOT do that to her. -J_

 _What am I supposed to do? She's the love of my life. -P_

 _But she's not your soul mate. She'll be at work tomorrow. We'll go in and grab your things and we'll be gone before she gets back. It'll be easier that way. -S_

 _She'll feel abandoned. -P_

 _If you want to protect her, that's what you have to do. I've talked to the council of elders and they're going to let her stay on the reservation for now. If she causes too many problems then we'll talk about relocating her. -S_

 _You can't do that! This is her home. The council already approved her living here three years ago. They can't go back on that now. Where would she go? -P_

 _Calm down. I said we would wait and see. If the two of you can go your separate ways and not cause too much drama then we'll leave her alone. But that means you need to stay away from her if you want her to stay. -S_

 _This is bullshit! This is her home and she has every right to be here. It shouldn't be dependent on her very hurt feelings. Of course she's hurt, of course she's going to be mad! What do you expect? -P_

 _I expect for at least one of you to behave like you have sense. She doesn't know what's going on so that falls to you. If you want her to stay then you have to control yourself. Speaking of which, why the fuck were you naked on First Beach all afternoon? -S_

Paul might have blushed if he was human.

 _I wasn't thinking. Who saw? -P_

 _Emily gave me the happy news. You're lucky it was her and not some underage girls or their parents. You have got to be smarter than that. -S_

 _I'm a little distressed right now. Cut me some slack. -P_


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is going to be about Hunter and her feelings and a few memories.**

* * *

After Paul had left Hunter tried to stay calm. She really did. She went back into the house and moved some things from one place to another but was too distracted to put it away. She wandered the house aimlessly. She probably couldn't afford this place on her own. They had saved for years before finally finding a place that would serve their plans and remained within their limited budget. After all, it was hard to make much money in a place this small even if you had the fancy degree she had never gotten.

She walked through the house and out to the back porch. Her swing sat there so peacefully. It was her favorite place, her favorite part about their new house. Paul had built it specially for her so they could sit cuddled up together and talk about their day and watch the sun sink down over the trees.

She went over to it and ran her hand over the heart with their initials that Paul had carved so long ago.

* * *

 _flashback seven years_

* * *

"Paul, what are you doing?" "I'm making our mark. This is our tree and our spot. I'm making sure no one else tries to claim it."

She watched as he dug his pocket knife into the bark of the tree, prying off the rough outer layer to reach the smooth skin beneath. There he started carving their initials.

Hunter watched him work. He wasn't content to leave a scratchy P and H. He was good with wood. He had carved her a little pine wolf for Christmas last year. Now he stepped back and looked at his handiwork. It was beautiful and it was theirs.

"Best friends forever, right? This makes it official." "And the last year of friendship was what exactly?" "A trial period. Testing the waters. I've decided that I can stand to have you around for a while." "And what if I decide I can't stand you?" "Nah, you love me." "Love? I don't know about all that."

Paul hid his blush and charged on. "You have to love your best friend. It's in the 'best friends rule book'." "There's no such thing." "Of course there is." "Produce it." "No no no. You have to commit before you get to see the rule book." "Fine. I guess I sorta love you." "That is hardly commitment. Are you afraid?" "No."

She said it too quickly for him to believe her. She blushed a nice bright cherry color against her pale skin.

He was nice enough to let it go for now.

* * *

Now

* * *

They had sat under and in that tree as they grew up. She had fallen out of that tree on her fifteenth birthday and broken her arm. Paul had carried her back to his house and held her hand as his dad drove them to the hospital. He didn't let go of her the whole time the doctor was putting the cast on.

He had very reluctantly let her go at the end of the night and she had fallen asleep wishing he was still with her.

Last year the tree was struck by lightning and fell. She had cried at the loss of something so beautiful. And then Paul had brought it home in its new form.

The tears came hard and fast now as she curled up on the wide bench seat and tried to hold herself together. She couldn't stop the memories.

* * *

 _flashback age: 16_

* * *

"What are you doing tonight?" "I have some homework to finish up. Why? What do you have in mind?" "I need to get out of the house." "You want me to pick you up?" "No thanks, I'll be over in a minute." "Okay then."

Hunter cheered herself for keeping it together long enough to talk on the phone. She was skipping out to her new truck now. Paul was going to be so jealous. He had gotten his license months ago but his dad wouldn't buy him his own vehicle. Paul was saving for a beat up old truck he wanted to rebuild with Jake and the boys. He was going to pitch a fit when he saw what Phil had given her today.

She got in the car and drove carefully on the slick Washington roads. It was getting dark and her mom hadn't wanted to let her go. But Phil understood the need to show off a good truck and had given his blessing. Now she was half way to La Push, singing along to the radio.

As soon as she pulled up Paul was out the door, a look of jealousy and disbelief plastered to his face.

"No way." "You know it." "No. I refuse to accept this as reality." "Get over it already." "Phil?" "Of course. If Mom had her way I'd be walking till I was too old and decrepit to make it across the porch." "It is fantastic! Have you named her yet?" "Her?" "Yes _her_. What's her name?" "I didn't realize cars had names." "This is a truck, Hunter. Not a car. And _all_ vehicles should have a name." "Well then, you name it." "I'll have to think about it, test out her mood. Where do you want to go?" "Anywhere. I'm free at last and I'm taking you with me!" "I've been driving for three months Hunter." "But you don't have a truck. Get in."

They drove to First Beach and walked to their spot. Hunter plopped down on the sand and pulled a smirking Paul down beside her. They sat and watched the endless motion of the ocean. The sun glinted brightly off the water.

"I love this place." "Oh, is that why you walked here every day for a month? I _was_ beginning to wonder." "Shut up Paul. I didn't walk _every_ day." "Just any day you couldn't find a ride." "This place is too good to pass up simply because no one wants to drive you out here. It's always worth it." "But now you have your very own truck and come out here whenever you want." "Yes. I'll probably get fat though." "What does one have to do with the other?" "If I'm not walking everywhere I'm going to get lazy and then fat. Who will love me then? Maybe I should let you have the truck..." "You'd be beautiful even fat but you can still give me the truck."

They had bantered back and forth like they always had. Then came the real reason Hunter had come to the beach. This was their spot to talk about the things that that were hard.

"Paul..." "What's on your mind Hunter?" "Derek asked me out for this weekend." "Derek?" Paul was hiding behind his mask. Hunter hated that mask and Paul hated that Hunter could see through it. It didn't stop him from trying it though.

"We have English and Biology together. He's one of the most popular guys in school." "I thought you didn't hang out with that crowd?" "I don't. They think I'm weird because I spend so much time with you Savages." "They're only jealous they don't have as much fun as us." "I'm sure. What should I do?" "Do you like him?" "I don't know. We've never really talked much." "Do you at least think you _could_ like him?" "Sure I guess. Everyone else seems to." "Don't do it for everyone else. They'll all be hateful about it anyway, especially the girls." "Why?" "They'll all be jealous if he's popular. Trust me, I've seen it happen." "Do all of your dates end in cat fights?" she laughed but she looked a little worried.

"You know it!" Paul laughed and bumped her shoulder. "Don't worry about everyone else. If you like him, give it a shot. But stay in well-lit areas with lots of people." "Alright then, I guess I'll go out with him."

* * *

 _Now_

* * *

Hunter had been so excited and scared for that first date. Of course Paul had dated before, he was nice looking and charming when he wasn't losing his temper. But he didn't stay with any girl for very long.

Derek had been Hunter's first ever boyfriend. Paul had coached her through it. He had told her when to pay attention and when to back off until she had him wrapped around her finger. They were together all through that year.

Paul had been her best friend, her first best friend, since her mother had moved her so far away from home and into this teeny little rain-drenched town of Forks.

Now she was completely alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all I just noticed that I have not said that most important and inevitable of all things: I own nothing you recognize. It all belongs to SM.**

 **Now that I've had my cry about that, I hope you like this story. It is more difficult than I thought it would be to write. The present is what I originally wanted to focus on but they have such a history together it is impossible to tell this story without delving into their past. If it is confusing I am sorry. I'm trying to make it coherent.**

* * *

Paul had been her best friend, her first best friend, since her mother had moved her so far away from home and into this teeny little rain-drenched town of Forks.

Now she was completely alone.

* * *

Hunter cried until she passed out on the swing. She woke up to the sound of wolves crying out their loneliness to the full moon above. They sounded close and the night was chilly so she got up and stretched her stiff limbs before turning and heading back into the house that just felt empty without Paul.

She had exhausted herself and there were simply no more tears to shed. She went through the house like a ghost, remembering the fun they'd had moving in and painting the rooms. Paul had covered her in paint and rolled her across the walls like a paint brush. They still wore the paint-spattered clothes sometimes and laughed.

In the living room she looked at the ugly beat-up leather recliner he had insisted was still the comfiest thing he owned. They had fought long and hard on that one but the ugly thing had made it to the new house after he'd distracted her thoroughly.

His toothbrush and razor still sat on the bathroom sink.

The bed was unmade, his clothes strewn about the room, the tattered remnants of her lace nightie in a pile at the foot of the bed from the wild, passionate sex they'd had three days before.

She had meant to clean that up but she got all hot and bothered every time she looked at it and remembered.

* * *

Two weeks ago Paul had come home utterly pissed and running a fever. Everything was making him lose his temper.

They had gone to bed holding each other, she had to calm him down five times between dinner and bedtime but she had done it. He seemed fine, they made love like always even though he was burning up. She was going to make him go to the doctor in the morning.

Then he had gotten up in the middle of the night and hadn't come back to bed.

The next morning Hunter was getting frantic, he was sick and if he was out there alone, in some fever frenzy he could get hurt. She was about to call a search party when Sam Uley had called her and told her he'd picked up Paul early that morning for a job. Paul was fine. She breathed out a sigh of relief and then started cussing them both for making her worry. He had apologized for both of them and promised he would have him home safe and sound after the job was finished in a couple weeks.

Paul had called every night after that. He sounded different. His voice was a deeper timbre. He got frustrated over little things where before he would never have gotten mad at her. He said he wanted to come home but he declined her offer to drive out and see him.

Two weeks like that had been hell. She missed him like crazy. They hadn't spent that long a time away from each other since they met on the beach when they were twelve years old.

But eventually he _did_ come back. And he acted like he always had but a little hesitant. He had maintained a careful distance between them that whole first day. He seemed antsy and didn't want to be cooped up in the house. He wouldn't sit on the swing with her, but he never took his eyes off of her. There was a look of frustration and confusion and disappointment in his eyes when he looked at her. He had never looked disappointed in her before.

That night she had hesitantly offered that they go to bed. Two weeks ago she would have dragged him up there. That morning she had wanted to drag him to their bed and strip him of the few clothes he wore. Now she was almost shy in the offer.

He hesitated too. He had only hesitated one time. The first time. It had been such a huge step for them to take, especially after everything she had been through. After that first blissful moment together he had always come to her most willingly. He had never been shy about instigating and she had never been refused by him before. Now he looked torn. Did he not want her that way anymore? Had he met someone new while away?

Hunter couldn't look at him as he stood there, refusing her in the simple act of not taking what was offered immediately.

She forced the tears back viciously but he knew they were there. He knew her every mood. He had since she was twelve years old. He could read her like a book no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

That did it. He had run to her, scooped her up and took off to their bedroom. She was already wearing his favorite lace nightie when she had come downstairs to call him to bed. Now he ripped it from her body and let the tattered shreds fall to the floor. His clothes were already off. They had come together in a blissful night of reunion and love and passion.

She woke to the sound of wolves and Paul jolting out of bed like he'd been electrocuted. They were still gleaming with sweat from their lovemaking, the sheets balled up on the floor somewhere. He radiated heat better than any oven.

"What are you doing? It's late. Come back to bed." "I can't. I wasn't supposed to stay here tonight. Sam and I are leaving early for another job." "When? I can wake you up in time." "No, I've already stayed too long. I'll be back tomorrow."

* * *

The next couple of days she had been there hoping he would come back for real. He stopped by every day and kept his distance again. He could hardly bring himself to look her in the eye.

And then he had shattered her heart entirely. He had forsaken everything they had built together. She wasn't worthy of him and he had finally grown tired of dealing with the broken husk that was all that remained of the girl he had once loved.


	5. Chapter 5

**First of all I just noticed that I have not said that most important and inevitable of all things: I own nothing you recognize. It all belongs to SM.**

 **Now that I've had my cry about that, I hope you like this story. It is more difficult than I thought it would be to write. The present is what I originally wanted to focus on but they have such a history together it is impossible to tell this story without delving into their past. If it is confusing I am sorry. I'm trying to make it coherent.**

* * *

The next couple of days were the worst. There was still a glimmer of hope that everything would be worked out between them. They had had fights before, in the bad days before Paul had saved her. Everything always worked itself out.

* * *

The next couple of weeks were not better. For either of them.

* * *

x

* * *

Paul was driving himself crazy. Sam had to give an alpha command for him to stay away from Hunter. He disappeared for three days as he ran off his anxiety and his despair.

When he returned to the pack he was resigned to his tragic fate. He was not happy. He was dead inside.

He patrolled because Sam ordered him to. He fought vampires because it was his job and it kept Hunter safe.

Suddenly his out-of-control temper was completely absent. He would have had to care for it to spring to the surface and he found that was simply something he could no longer do. The only thing he cared about was completely beyond his reach.

* * *

x

* * *

Hunter gave herself the weekend to cry. She gave herself two days to burst into tears and to mope around the house and not wash her hair.

On Monday she got up and took a shower and dressed for work.

She had often felt that she and Paul were nothing but a fantasy, a dream she had cooked up to escape her dark past. In the beginning she had dreaded the mornings, knowing she would wake up and he would be gone.

Now that nightmare was real. Her big bed was empty and cold. The boys had moved his clothes out by the time she got home from work. It was as if he had never been there. Nothing but a figment of her imagination.

She resolved herself to this fate without him. She was not going to break down every time she saw the stain on the couch where he'd spilled spaghetti in a mad dash to get her naked. She was not going to cry when she had to wash the dishes and dry them too.

She couldn't even look at the swing.

But she was determined that she would live her life and not make Paul feel like he'd ruined her life by bettering his. He deserved better. He always had.

The fantasy could never have lasted. And now he was free. She was not going to make him feel bad about it by ceasing to exist in her normal life.

The fact that she was just going through the motions was irrelevant. So long as he could live free of the burden of her torment she would keep on as she always had.


End file.
